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The adventures of Fish Ticklesworth's Journal
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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in The adventures of Fish Ticklesworth's LiveJournal:

Monday, February 25th, 2008
5:45 pm
new favorite
Rubbin' Balls

1 part rubbin'
2 parts balls

add sour mix for more friction
Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
11:23 am
Okay, so it is not that I love making polls. I simply love gathering information and placing it in a box filled with magic and electricity. No, I'm not talking about a computer.

I'm talking about a microwave oven.

I wish there was an "Information" preset hot key that would weigh the information placed on the rotating dish and defrost it accordingly. Ah, science.
11:11 am
OMG I looooove making polls. They are so awesome! How else can you find out what the LJers are thinking? Just wait until they see my next poll!
Wednesday, January 9th, 2008
10:41 am
I have many desires. Most of them are pure and fitting for public discussion, even when there are children present. I am a good boy. Most of the time. I am not all that fancy of a fellow and my mind is locked in merely one reality-tunnel. However...

...I desire, at this moment, to gnaw on a black woman's ass like a suckling pig. Get up in that shit and eat my way to freedom. Tear through skin, muscle and bone until the ass-soul becomes clear.

For reals, ya'll.
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
11:15 am
I wish the jews would stop sending their golems at me. Warding them off is tiring work.
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
10:19 am
I want/need a hand-full of pussy juice.

for science.
Thursday, November 15th, 2007
4:33 pm
In order to prepare myself for the move...
Poll #1089359 OTrhine

How will I be killed in OTR? (check all that apply)

Stab wound
Gun shot
Asphixiated while masturbating
Beaten by police
Alcohol poisoning
Choke on fish (or poisoned)
Alien invasion
Lava immolation
Exorcism gone bad
Car wreck
Mutant insect
Demon summoned from black mass
Snoop Dogg
Thursday, November 8th, 2007
2:27 pm

Level 9 Atheists.

I can't decide which group of bandits I fear more.

Let's hope they never find out about one another.
Wednesday, October 24th, 2007
10:16 am
I have a terrible secret. It is true that I quit smoking, yes.

However, I now hide chaw under my nutsack and let the juices drip directly into my asshole.

Shhh...don't tell the internet.
Thursday, October 18th, 2007
11:12 am
Now that I have quit smoking I have had time to pick up hobbies I didn't have time for before. I began making my own cheeses. There really is nothing like the taste of a fresh home-made colby-jack cheese. Or a freshly pressed cheddar...

The landlord is pissed about the goat (fresh milk is best) but I just kicked her in the snatch and that was that. Time to go test my provolone body lotion.
Thursday, September 27th, 2007
5:12 pm
I'm not sure if my feet are abnormal or my eyes are abnormal when viewing my feet. Perhaps my brain is abnormal in processing the information.

I just don't know about a lot of things anymore.
Thursday, September 13th, 2007
8:22 pm
hating germans is like loving god.
Friday, August 24th, 2007
1:38 pm
my god, i forgot i existed! last night i saw Rocket Science with my girlfriend, who had obtained free tickets through nefarious means which shall not be spoken of. the movie had nothing to do with actual astrophysics. What a relief! I fucking hate space more than anything! I make exception for Space Balls, which shows how ridiculous people act when they think about space too often.

It's Friday and you know what that means: tomorrow is Saturday.
Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
7:20 pm
i won't forget you, baby
I have dreams in which M*A*S*H* and The Cosby Show merge and become one glorious epic. 

These dreams...I have them when I am awake.
Friday, June 22nd, 2007
12:12 pm
I have already gone one day this summer without partaking in a juicy fresh slice of watermelon. This is wrong. I sought to correct my behavior upon waking this morning, only to see rain clouds and feel a chill wind in my bones. This is not watermelon weather. Patience, Fish, patience. We shall overcome.
Monday, June 18th, 2007
10:29 am
Now that school is out and my senior project is done I find myself with a lack of things to keep me busy. This is why I have decided to take up water polo. I am going shopping for a speedo tonight.
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
12:28 pm
I can never be sure how I feel about dental floss. In this age of advanced toothbrush technology and high-powered mouthwash options, it is a struggle to believe that I truly must wiggle a piece of string around my gums.

More on this later (when I'm not blinded by such rage).
Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
11:27 pm
things i have done today that were not to be known, but now must be...
It has been three weeks since I first shaved by beard...first time ever. I had such a soft, flowing mane of a beard (my mouth is like a lion's head...like every reggae band you've ever heard...). Now, it is gone. It will not return, despite my desperate pleas to the imam of my local village:

My beard does not know lonely like I know lonely.
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